Sometimes the right words just don't exist.

There are no words to describe how unfair it is that a healthy 21 year old man can lose a battle against a disease. It's not fair. It's not ok.

There are simply no words that can comfort a mother who is losing her child. I wish there were. I would say them. I would scream them, sing them, chant them...but they don't exist.


So instead, I will sit here and cry. I don't know what else to do. I will share in the sadness, the grief, the pain of this because when people you love are hurting, it hurts. 

I will also hug my boys more. I will cherish every moment I have with them, even when those moments involve crying and whining. 

I will not take my life, their lives, anyone's life, for granted. Even long lives go by entirely too fast.

I will enjoy today because it's today.

I will tell the people I love that I love them.

Ken, you are with me in each and every happy moment I have. You might not know what a gift you've given me, but you've helped me to see how blessed I truly am...because those happy moments - there sure are a lot of them.

Oh, and...I will also smile every time I see this picture.

You are so loved.