Damn Dr. Phil Show

I just wrote a completely different post here...and deleted it.

I was watching yesterday's episode of Dr. Phil and completely lost it. He did a story about a beautiful 5 year old girl with a brain tumor. In light of the events of the past twelve days, watching a show about a sick child was bound to cause a reaction.

My first reaction, and the first draft of this post, had more to do with how unfair and crappy it is that anything bad can happen to a child. It's wrong. I hate it.

But I realized that the real reason I fell apart is that I am so thankful for this moment I am in right now. My beautiful Jacob is tucked into his bed, taking a nap after a good day at school. He taught me the Christmas tree song he learned today. He smiled at me before I closed his door and told me he loves me "a lot, a lot, a lot." Sweet baby Ryan is sleeping soundly in his little bed, heart beating away and pumping good blood through his little body. I LOVE my boys so, so much. A lot, a lot, a lot. I am so thankful that right now, we are all safe. We are all healthy. We are all happy. We get to have Daddy home with us every night. We have the most wonderful, supportive family and friends anyone could ask for. I very much credit all of the positive thoughts and prayers for Ryan's continued improvement.

So, as much as my tears this afternoon started out as sad tears for that little girl on tv and her family, they really are tears of thankfulness for the blessings I have in my life. And if you are reading this, then you are truly counted as one of the blessings I know I am so lucky to have.

And I feel better today than I did yesterday.

And Christmas time is here and we get to decorate. And make cookies.

Yep, life is good today.