I tried to turn my laptop on this morning, and it won't turn on. It pretends to for about 1 second, then it just does nothing.

I am in class right now and kind of a little bored, but I can't believe how upset I am by this laptop problem I encountered. I want to be able to say that it's just a ting and that this really isn't a tragedy. But I don't really feel that way at all. I suppose I don't realize how much I rely on it to keep me connected to things...the thought of not being able to read email from family and friends is horrible. Not being able to check facebook, distressing...but even more upsetting is realizing how much of my life lives on that hard drive. Months worth of pictures of Jacob reside there...I realize that Jacob is still here with me and that's obviously more important than some pictures...but those are incredibly important to me. Yes, yes...I know I need to back up my files. And I DO...just not every day. And I've been really busy WORKING ON MY COMPUTER lately. All of my image files for the websites I'm working on, images I should have burned to a disk...

I'm so upset to think that 1) I will be without a computer and a connection to my real world for a length of time, and 2) that I could potentially lose all of the things that are important to me. And then, I got really upset with Ben for not understanding why I was so upset...and that made it worse. I just want him to tell me it will be ok and he'll have it fixed when I get home. I need a plan in place to deal with this horrible problem, and I know I'm being irrational until that happens.

So as I was sitting in the car at lunch time (because horrible Ben came and brought me lunch) and trying very hard to put this into perspective. I was sitting staring out the window into the trees. Jacob laughing and saying, "french fry!"(or a close approximation) behind me. A little red-headed woodpecker happily pecking on a tree right in front of me. And then I song I really like and had just been thinking about came on the radio. Someone, somewhere was conspiring to make me feel better. I know that. It's pretty amazing how that never fails to work. As soon as you decide that things are going to be ok, somehow they just are. I suppose that's the power of positive thought. Maybe nothing really changed in that instant, but maybe it did.

I suppose I should pay attention to my class right now...