Erin Holko

Happy Birthdays

2012-02-03T11:38:00.000-08:00

Just over a year ago, sweet Betsy came out to visit us.

While she was here, we made a trek up to the Wheel Inn diner in Cabazon to visit the dinosaurs and have a tuna platter and a milkshake. While that is a fun thing to do all on its own, we made the trip up in honor or my cousin Ken. He and Jacob have the same birthday, February 1st.

You don't need the details, but it was in the car on the way up there that I first learned that Jake gets car sick.

It was freezing (like snow on the mountains in front of us freezing) when we got out of the car at the diner, and Jake was basically naked. I bought him a big sweatshirt that would cover him up. A big, powder blue sweatshirt with a dinosaur on the front.

We climbed up into the T. Rex and knew Ken was there with us.

When we got home, we took off the giant powder blue sweatshirt, and put it away in the back of the drawer. No one has thought about it since.

Until...Wednesday morning. Jacob's birthday.

I sent him into his room to get a sweatshirt to wear to the zoo.

He came back wearing this.

Happy birthday, Ken. We love you so very much.

Easy Pumpkin Pecan Crisp

2011-10-31T14:41:00.000-07:00

Ingredients:

1 15oz can pumpkin puree
1/2 c. heavy cream
1 c. sugar
2 eggs
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 1/2 tsp. salt
1 box yellow cake mix
1 c. chopped pecans
1 c. melted butter

To Make:

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Grease 13" x 9" pan.

Mix pumpkin, cream, sugar, eggs, cinnamon and salt in large mixing bowl. Stir until smooth.

Pour into greased pan. Sprinkle cake mix evenly over the top of pumpkin mixture, then sprinkle chopped pecans over the cake mix. Drizzle with the melted butter.*

Bake for 50 minutes.

*Yes, this does seem like a lot of butter. This recipe is a combination of a bunch of other similar ones I've seen, and they all used a LOT of butter. I used almost the entire 2 sticks and it's delicious. I can't see any reason to change it :)

Why I Love It:
It's super easy and does not require any special ingredients that I wouldn't normally have on hand. I ate some directly out of the pan when I pulled it out of the oven and burned my mouth but continued to eat it anyway. It's really good!

How I Serve It:
This would be delicious with a scoop of vanilla ice cream, or, of course, a pile of whipped cream on top.

That Creamy Chicken Crock Pot Thing

2011-10-30T11:51:00.000-07:00

Ingredients:

1 small onion, finely chopped
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1 can diced tomatoes
1 can cream of asparagus soup
1 c. chicken broth
1 oz. package cream cheese
4-5 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
salt
pepper
red pepper flakes

1 bunch asparagus
2 packages fresh fettuccine noodles

To Make:

Put all ingredients into slow cooker. Cover and cook for 6-8 hours on low setting. Stir occasionally to break up the cream cheese.

About 15 minutes before serving, turn slow cooker to high heat setting. Use two forks to shred the chicken. Cut asparagus into pieces and add to slow cooker and stir.

Boil pasta as directed on package.

When asparagus is bright green and slightly tender, turn off heat. Pour contents of slow cooker over pasta and toss to combine.

Why I Love It: This was sort of an experiment recipe and it turned out to be really good. We gave away the leftovers and Ben was regretting that decision for a while. It's creamy and wonderful, and can actually be made with fat free cream of asparagus soup, fat free chicken broth, and whatever that 1/3 less fat cream cheese is to make is a little more calorie conscious.

How I Serve It: Big pasta bowls make everything look good. If I were serving it to guests, I'd probably put a pinch of basil on top for color...

Vegetable Lasagna

2011-09-21T10:42:00.000-07:00

I'm sure there are tons of veggie lasagna recipes out there, and I don't claim to have the best one. This is, however, one that the boys in this house will eat and used up the end-of-summer produce from our garden.

Ingredients:

1 medium zucchini, sliced thinly
fresh tomatoes (I used about 15 small Romas, because that's what we had)
4 large carrots, peeled and cut into matchsticks
i small onion, chopped so finely that no one will recognize it
1 c. spinach (I use chopped, frozen stuff)
handful fresh basil leaves, chopped
4 tbs. butter
4 tbs. flour
2 c. milk
salt
pepper
garlic powder
2 c. mozzarella cheese, grated
1 tub ricotta cheese
2 eggs
lasagna noodles

To Make:

Boil lasagna noodles for a few minutes to soften, then set aside to cool.

Prepare all fresh ingredients.

Melt butter in saucepan and then add flour. Cook flour for a minute or two, stirring frequently. It smells like pie crust when it's done. Slowly whisk in milk and add seasonings. Whisk occasionally while continuing to cook over medium heat. Sauce will thicken after a few minutes. Set it aside.

In a bowl, mix together ricotta, a handful or two of the mozzarella, and eggs. Add some salt and pepper. I also tossed my basil in this mixture.

Begin layering ingredients in 8"x8" or 9"x9" pan. Start with a layer of lasagna noodles, then pile stuff in any way you like. I tried to make sure I either poured some of the white sauce or sprinkled some of the mozzarella on top of each layer of veggies. Save some mozzarella to sprinkle over the top of the lasagna.

Bake at 350 degrees for about an hour.

Why I Love This: Both Ben AND the little boys will eat it without too much complaining about the fact that there are lots of vegetables in it. I also like that it doesn't really matter what kind of veggies you throw in...everything tastes good when it's covered by that much cheese.

How I Serve It: I look for excuses to use grated parmesan cheese in my every day life, and think this is a perfect opportunity to do so. A little bit sprinkled over the top of a big square of lasagna is delicious.

Salted Caramel Butter Bars

2011-09-17T15:19:00.000-07:00

Ingredients:

1 lb. salted butter (room temp)

1 c. sugar

1 1/2 c. powdered sugar

2 tbs vanilla

4 c. AP flour

1 bag (14 oz) caramels

1/3 c. milk or cream

1 tbs coarse sea salt

Preheat over to 350. Lightly spray 13x9 pan with cooking spray.

For crust:

Combine butter, sugars, and vanilla in large bowl or stand mixer and mix until creamy.

Add flour and mix until soft, smooth dough forms.

Divide dough in half. Press one half evenly onto the bottom of the greased pan. Cover and chill other half in the refrigerator.

Prick with a fork and bake crust in the over for about 20 minutes, or until firm and just golden brown. Remove from oven to cool.

For filling:

Unwrap and place caramels in glass or other microwave safe bowl. Add cream. Microwave for 1 minute, then stir and continue heating in 30 second intervals until mixture is smooth.

Spread evenly over the bottom crust.

Sprinkle sea salt over the caramel. (I use more than 1 tbs because I LOVE salty, sweet things.)

Crumble remaining half of the dough over the top of the caramel.

Return pan to the oven and bake for about 30 minutes, until filling is bubbly and topping is firm and golden.

Why I love this recipe: Make these and taste them. You'll understand why.

How I serve: These are super sweet and rich, so best eaten in small bites. (Hah.) Cut into 1" squares. And then eat 12...

Butternut Squash Soup

2011-09-17T14:48:00.000-07:00

Ingredients:

1 medium butternut squash, peeled, seeded, and cut into 1" pieces
3 medium tart apples, peeled, seeded, and cut into 1" pieces
i medium onion, chopped
salt
pepper
rosemary (1-2 tbs. chopped fresh)
3 bay leaves

32 oz. chicken or vegetable broth
16 oz. water
1/4 c. heavy cream

Add all ingredients to a large, heavy saucepan. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer for about 45 minutes, or until squash is soft.

Puree mixture in food processor (or in batches in a blender) and return to saucepan. Reheat over low heat.

Before serving, stir in heavy cream.

Why I love it: This soup smells like fall. Also, the simple ingredients are almost always on hand since they can sit on my counter for so long without spoiling. This soup also freezes really well.

How I serve it: Some bacon crumbles and a dollop of sour cream make this soup so tasty! I like to have a big slice of crusty bread to dip, too.

Fathers' Day

2011-06-19T11:19:00.000-07:00

Like many other people, I'm thinking about fathers today.

This is one of my favorite pictures of my Dad. (Clearly, it's not one of my favorites of ME, but whatever.)

I don't remember where this photo was taken exactly, but it was from some family camping trip. (This explains the hat?) A great number of my best memories from being a kid were from camping trips. Mom and Dad were just different on vacation. I couldn't say what was different, exactly, but it was wonderful. First of all, we were all together. That was pretty special in itself. Dad always worked a lot, so those ten days every summer that we went away were magical. But it was more than that. We always just had fun together. Hiking in the woods, getting quizzed on different types of trees and plants, finding mushrooms, fishing, sitting around the campfire, singing silly songs...I think that even as little kids we recognized that these trips were such a special time.

I could write a book about the lessons I learned from my Dad. The one that I always come back to is what he taught me maybe without even meaning to. I have ALWAYS known that my Dad loved me, believed in me, and trusted that I would accomplish anything I set my mind to. He taught me to believe in me.

Then this guy...MY Grampa Ken. He is a bit of a legend in our family, but it's completely justified. I don't know that there was anyone who met him and didn't like him. He was just a nice guy. And those of us who were lucky enough to be his grandkids...well, that was something. When I think back to my favorite memories of my grampa, I realize that they are mostly silly. He let us have ice cream sundaes for breakfast (as long as we didn't tell gramma). He liked to catch and pet caterpillars. He kept a dead bat in his toolbox. He always made sure to turn the label out on his can of beer when someone was taking a picture...just in case the brewery wanted to use it for advertising.

He was funny. And there was no doubt that he loved us. It didn't matter how cold or rainy the day was, there was always a tall skinny guy in a plaid jacket standing on the sidelines of every soccer game, sitting in the audience of every school play...

There is no way I can ever talk about the size of a fish I caught without remembering Grampa's trick. It'd be hard to describe, but I'd bet most people reading this know what I mean.

Oh, I also learned the word "jackass" from my Grampa. For years, I knew that jackasses drove others cars around on the road.

I suppose I don't talk about him much, but I truly didn't know him as well as my other grandfather. My Grandpa Fran struggled with his own issues throughout his life and I can't pretend that I know or understand them. I know that there were difficult times when my dad and his brothers and sister were young. I know that he was an alcoholic.

I also know that he loved me. I always knew that.

He left behind him some really great Masterson fathers. My own Dad, Uncle Gary and Uncle Bob, my cousin Tim and my brother Brian...each of them is a man I respect.

As I've gotten older I've realized just how important it was to have men in my life who loved me and made me feel good about myself. Whatever issues or shortcomings they may have had in their own lives or relationships, the relationship I had with each of them has affected me in only positive ways. I've never let a boy make me feel bad about myself. I've always felt like there was someone standing behind me and supporting me. I've always felt safe and protected.

It took growing up some to realize that I'm lucky to have had this.

I Love This Kid

2011-06-14T21:34:00.000-07:00

I know everyone loves their kid and thinks that their child is super special.

But whatever. I'm not talking about other people's kids. I'm talking about MY kid, here. My super sweet, smart, talented kid.

Today was Jake's last day of school for the year. His teacher prepared an end of the year evaluation for him and it made me feel very proud of my guy.

I'm just so glad he's a nice kid and he's good to others. I wonder sometimes, as I remind him for the 94th time in an hour to keep his hands off of his brother...

Things that Make Me Happy

2011-06-10T15:26:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted anything here in a while.

It's not that there haven't been things to talk about...probably more that there are too many things to talk about and somehow there's not enough time left over to write about them, too.

This afternoon, the little boys and I went outside in the yard to play for a few minutes before naptime. It had been cloudy and cold all morning. I think it may have even rained a little. But as soon as we went out, the clouds disappeared and the sun came out.

I happened to be on the phone with my Dad, chatting about all sorts of things.

Sitting there in the sun, watching the little boys riding through the garden on their 4-wheelers, laughing, talking on the phone...I felt one of those really happy moments. The kind where you remember that life is good and there are little miracles all around you.

And being me, I had my camera out. So, here are the little miracles that surrounded me today.

This little guy is so funny lately...

And this one can seem so grown up and so little, all at the same time.

This guy will be 10 this year. Oh how I love this dog. (I love the other one, too, but he was licking his butt in the picture.)

I've been considering pulling this giant cactus out since it's not really a great plant when you have kids. Then it goes and does this.

The sunflowers that Jake and I planted are beginning to bloom!

And I always wonder...does everyone find seeds so amazing? I get so excited when I see them do this. It's like magic.

This kid seems to get it.

I love, love, love that he goes out to check the garden with me. He was so excited to see the little tiny sprouts. Yesterday, he saw that some of the beans had sprouted and he screamed, "Mom! They're growing! We have to hurry up and give them some water to keep them healthy!" He gets it :)

I needed this reminder today.

Mom Talk

2011-03-07T10:21:00.000-08:00

It's official. I'm turning into my mother.

I'm not actually saying that this is a bad thing. She is wonderful.

It's just that I hear words coming out of my mouth lately that I can't really believe I am saying. I don't even mean to. They just come out.

Like a few minutes ago, when Jake asked for another thing to eat. It's 9:30. He has already had a bowl of cereal, a glass of milk, a container of yogurt, a cup of juice, a banana, another bowl of cereal, and probably some unauthorized snacks as well. I get that he's a growing boy and I promise I am not trying to starve him, but come on. You do not need to ask me for food every 13 seconds. And you really, really don't need to cry and whine when I say, "no, not right now."

He broke me. After the 475th time he asked for another snack, I said it.

"Go ahead, Jacob. Eat til you throw up."

My Mom said this all the time. Some of us actually did it.

I've also heard myself say the following:

"Do whatever you want. You don't listen to me anyway."

"I don't know where you shoes are. I didn't wear them."

"Your eyes are going to turn into little tv's if you keep staring at the television like that." (Seriously, this is one of the weirdest ones...but somehow it came out of my mouth.)

"I'm going to tell dad about you when he gets home."

"She's dead." (This is a great response to "Mom! Mom! Mom! Hey, Mom!")

There have been many, many others. But now I get it. My poor Mom had FOUR children.

I was talking with a friend the other day and we were discussing the things we say that we never thought we would say to our children. It's very easy to be idealistic before you actually have children. It's particularly easy to be that way when you are, say, a teenager and you know so much more than your parents do. You know you will never say such things to your own children.

And then you have one and you start to hear your Mom's voice coming out of your mouth occasionally. Once in a while, you break and say a less than kind word to your child in a moment of frustration.

And then, you have another kid and all of that idealism kinda flies out the window. That's when you start to say things like:

"Just shut up."

"Do that again and I'm gonna slap you."

"I'm taking a crap! What do you think I'm doing in here?"

"No. No, I will not share my M&M's with you because you are being annoying and I don't have to share with you."

"What is wrong with you?"

Yeah, it's been a rough couple of days around here. For some reason, both boys have decided that it's really cool to get up before the sun. I'm not sure what the allure is. They also suck at taking naps, so spend most of the day tired and whiney.

One can only take so many hours of whining before losing it. It seems awfully unfair that by getting up earlier they are adding extra hours to my work day. I would like to be compensated, please.

And just to be clear, none of this is really a complaint...more of an observation. I wouldn't trade this for anything and I love those little turkeys. I think I just need a nap.

But really...

I could do without the banana peel, guys.

MGC Spring Ad

2011-02-22T11:07:00.000-08:00

2007 (the ad actually ran in 2009)

2011

Jake

2011-01-10T13:21:00.000-08:00

This was Jacob's preschool picture from last year...

This is from this school year...

My baby is getting so big, so fast. Luckily, he's still adorable.

2011-01-07T08:54:00.000-08:00

Thankful 3

2010-11-17T20:45:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for:

Wine Wednesday.

I instituted a policy of wine and appetizer Wednesdays a few weeks ago after Ben and I had a chance to get out and go to a wine bar. Having two kids, this is a rare opportunity.

What made it special was that it was something out of the ordinary. No reason we can't do that at home!

Hence, Wine Wednesday.

Ben brings home a bottle of wine and I make some sort of out of the ordinary dinner, consisting of cheese and salty, cured meats (Ben's favorite). Thanks to Ken and Susan tonight for the awesome bottle of Tobin James. So good.

Little boys are invited, of course. Tonight dinner was followed by a dance party in the living room and a glowstick fishing game. And a glow stick bath. Pretty much a perfect evening.

And now for some True Blood episodes on DVD....

Thankful

2010-11-16T22:43:00.000-08:00

Today I am thankful for...

Our house.

I spent the day trying to finish up some of the projects that we've had lingering for a while.

Like the little hole in the wall in the bathroom that's been there since we re-did it...last summer. There were several other places that needed a little touch-up in there, too. Now they are all done and the new towel rack is mounted.

And I cut and actually affixed the baseboards on the wall adjacent to the door my Dad moved several months ago.

And I just stained the transition pieces that will go between the kitchen floor and the rest of the house flooring. Those will go in tomorrow. (We are WAY ahead of schedule on this one. Last time it took us about 4 years to do this. It's only been like 2 months since we finished the kitchen flooring.)

We hung the shelves and lighting above my desk.

I found the tile I want to use for the kitchen backsplash. For some reason, this was really hard to do. Something about too many choices becoming overwhelming so I just chose to ignore the problem. Life is tough for me, I know.

I also found a way to mount and hang some pendant lights over the new kitchen cabinets and bought that today. I opened up the box, but that's as far as I got today. This is still progess.

Once a few more projects are actually completed, I will take some "after" photos.

But for today, I feel like we accomplished stuff.

I'm thankful for our nice house and the nice things we have in it.

Today I Am Thankful for...

2010-11-15T10:59:00.000-08:00

Roses in November.

My Sabres mug. It makes me think of home and it has coffee in it. Double thankful for this one.

Two dogs at my feet. They drive me crazy sometimes, but I really love these fur factories and I love that they love me, too.

Oh Yeah...

2010-11-13T21:06:00.000-08:00

I didn't exactly forget about this blog, but I surely have been neglecting it.

I started writing this blog as my own, in my own voice, as a diversion from the cute nonsense posted over on The Holko Boys page. Even that has suffered a bit of neglect lately, but at least I get in a few posts each week.

I am realizing that the time assigned to each of these blogs is a pretty good reflection of the time that is assigned to those same tihngs in my life.

When there was just Jacob, it was easy to have time to take pictures of him and write little stories and post them every day. And while I never posted to this blog every day, or even every week, there were still entries for each month, at least.

Somehow the days have gotten shorter. Surely this is what happened, right? One extra small person in the house can't possibly eat up that much time.

Whatever the reason, there just isn't the same amount of time left over for me at the end of the day. I actually have several blog posts in my head that I just have not had time to sit and actually type out. (One has to do with princesses and super heroes at Jacob's preschool and will need to be addressed at some point.)

I've been working on Christmas craft projects over the last week or two and have spent some time searching for inspiration on various websites and blogs. Man, there are LOTS of crafty people out there. It seems like everyone else in the world has time to whip up these fabulous crafts, recipes, garments, etc., all while taking step-by-step (professional quality) photos and writing up a tutorial to share with the world on their beautifully designed blog page.

Well, it's annoying.

How do these women find the time to be so fabulous? I have a million ideas in my head for projects I want to do, and given unlimited time I could probably take some great photos of them, too.

But who would pick up the dog crap in my yard or hose the chicken shit off the patio?

Who would suck the Froot Loops out from under the couch and scrub the apple juice out of the cushions?

Who would do the grocery shopping, laundry washing, dinner-making...blah blah blah...all of those really, really glamorous jobs that moms get to do?

Jake actually answered that for me the other day. He was helping me sweep up the grass clippings that got on the sidewalk when I mowed the front lawn. He decided he didn't feel like doing it anymore and suggested that I could do it myself. I told him that I had other things to do and couldn't. I asked him who was going to clean it up if he didn't finish the job. He answered, "Well, if you're not going to do it, I guess nobody."

Exactly.

And I don't mean that Ben doesn't do lots to help. He does. Let's not even try to put a price on me being able to stay home with the boys. He goes to work every day so I can do that, and he does lots of other stuff, too. (Yay for putting together the new chicken coop today!)

I'm not even complaining about having too much to do. I absolutely recognize that no one expects me to have a structured arts and crafts program each day and a Food Network-worthy dinner on the table, complete with photos and how-tos. Well, no one but me.

I needed these few minutes to myself tonight. I am doing my best to not feel guilty that I'm letting Jacob watch a stupid Care Bears movie for the third time today so that I can have them.

(Did you know Care Bears are still around? Did you know that some of them speak Spanish now? I told Jake that Gramma Jojo made me a Care Bear when I was little and he thought that was pretty great. Hint, hint, Jojo.)

Heh...here's where this post will take another direction, and I'll tell you why.

Care Bears ended a few minutes ago, as I was writing this. Jake came over here to "our" desk and asked if we could do a project.

You don't say no to a three year old boy who wants to do projects with you. He wanted to cut some stuff since he got some new scissors today. We got out the construction paper and started working. I thought since Thanksgiving is coming up we'd make some turkeys. Jake decided he wanted me to draw ducks. I don't know why this is funny, but it is.

So we spent the last 20 minutes drawing things and cutting them out.

Then even dad joined in. Ben's not normally one for arts & crafts but I'll say he just made some really great snowflakes from white paper.

So as I'm sitting here ending my post about how I don't have the time to do stuff, I'm feeling pretty happy about that.

We had a great roasted chicken and mashed potatoes dinner. All four of us sat at the table together and laughed and had a nice time. There are no pictures of that. (though I admit I considered it.)

Ryan got tucked happily into his bed.

Jake watched Care Bears and did "a project" with mom and dad. (I can't help it ...here's one picture of that.)

I guess the realization I was supposed to make today is that while I don't have time for some of the things I might want to do, I have so much more than I ever could have asked for.

So this is probably my early Thanksgiving post.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Be thankful for the things that you do have. I'll bet when you start counting them up, there are lots of them.

Bath Time for Boys

2010-09-23T21:16:00.000-07:00

Last night, Ben "volunteered" to get both boys ready for bed. Since they were smelly, as little boys often are, they both needed a bath.

I heard some commotion going on in the bathroom...water running, splashing, shouting...Ben called me and said, "Mom, you're gonna want to look at this."

He had both guys in the tub together. I'm not sure why this seemed like a significant thing to me, but I guess it did to Ben, too, since he called me in to witness it.

It was one of those "I so love these beautiful little creatures and can't imagine my life without them" kind of moments.

Obviously, I took pictures.

I've been thinking all day about why this seemed like a big deal to me, and what I've come up with is that it means we are getting closer to the part I've been looking forward to...the part where I have two nice little kids who play together and laugh together and love each other, at least sometimes.

It was never a dream of mine to have a house full of babies...babies are nice and all, but I really, really like little kids. I love hearing what they have to say, listening to their silly stories, getting to peek inside their imaginations (granted, sometimes I wish Jake would stop sharing for a few minutes out of the day, but I wouldn't trade it for anything), and I know how much more fun all of that stuff is when you have a sibling to share it with. I guess that's the part of having kids that I've always dreamed about...so to see it happening is pretty awesome.

So all of that...and it's nice to have two clean, sweet-smelling boys at the same time.

2010-07-25T22:28:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the right words just don't exist.

There are no words to describe how unfair it is that a healthy 21 year old man can lose a battle against a disease. It's not fair. It's not ok.

There are simply no words that can comfort a mother who is losing her child. I wish there were. I would say them. I would scream them, sing them, chant them...but they don't exist.

So instead, I will sit here and cry. I don't know what else to do. I will share in the sadness, the grief, the pain of this because when people you love are hurting, it hurts.

I will also hug my boys more. I will cherish every moment I have with them, even when those moments involve crying and whining.

I will not take my life, their lives, anyone's life, for granted. Even long lives go by entirely too fast.

I will enjoy today because it's today.

I will tell the people I love that I love them.

Ken, you are with me in each and every happy moment I have. You might not know what a gift you've given me, but you've helped me to see how blessed I truly am...because those happy moments - there sure are a lot of them.

Oh, and...I will also smile every time I see this picture.

You are so loved.

Make Me Smile

2010-07-23T17:50:00.000-07:00

I know if I ever need to smile, all I need to do is look at this:

Not only is Ryan's face hilarious (one of my favorite things), Jake is being sweet to him, for real (one of my other favorite things in life).

My Babies

2010-07-22T22:32:00.000-07:00

I have so many things floating around in my head right now that I want to write here...and I'll come back to it and get it all down soon.

Since many of the things I am thinking about have to do with these two little guys, these pictures are probably worth at least a thousand words. I mean, look at them...Jake is playing in the pool (nicely, even) with his little brother. They are both smiling. And happy. And healthy.

How lucky I am for so many reasons.

Recipe for Good Day

2010-07-12T19:33:00.000-07:00

Wake up next to Ben.

Add sunshine.

Play with little boys.

Sprinkle in some sweetness from big brother to little brother.
Wrap in a bathing suit and bake in the sun for an hour.

Add some good friends.
Top it off with a delicious dinner and a glass of good wine.

Ah. Perfect.

Summer Stuff

2010-07-03T10:19:00.000-07:00

A few signs that it really is summer...

Eating watermelon outside with no shirt on.

McDonald's sweet tea is actually pretty good.

Flip flops (not that I don't wear these all year).

Relaxing in a shady spot.

Eating outside on the patio.

Running around naked chasing chickens.

Alright, I didn't know until yesterday that running around naked chasing chickens was a sign of summer. But surely it must be...right?

Why I love Photoshop

2010-07-01T13:09:00.001-07:00

I am constantly amazed by how much a little photoshop tweaking can change a picture.

Take this ferris wheel picture. I shot it with the camera on my phone. It's fine.

But after you sharpen the image and boost the colors a bit, it's definitely better.

And then there are all of the fun things you can do with these images. I love the colors here...

And the lack of colors here...

And the slight warm tint here that reminds me of old photos...

Fam at the Fair

2010-07-01T11:23:00.000-07:00

I have to try to find the rest of these pictures from previous years. In the beginning, it was just me and Ben, probably after a few drinks in the beer garden.

Then, there were three. The fair experience changed. We compromised and spent some time looking at the big kid stuff before giving in and spending too much money on rides and games.

Finally, the picture is complete. This year, we ate some food and headed directly to the kids area.

And it was, by far, my favorite fair experience so far.

Cooper's Pages

2010-06-15T10:28:00.000-07:00

The pages we put into Cooper's Adventure Book:

My Favorites

2010-06-07T21:09:00.000-07:00

I took a million pictures today. These are my three favorites...

Cupcakes

2010-05-30T23:01:00.001-07:00

I got a great book from Susan for Mother's Day. If you like making cupcakes, you need to have it.

It's a sequel to my other favorite cupcake book. The image above is a link to the website.

We went to a great BBQ today for Memorial Day, and I wanted to bring something patriotic. These little gems were in the book, and were super easy to make.

There are so many other fun ideas in the book, I can't wait to try out a few more!

Lions

2010-05-16T12:08:00.000-07:00

Riding home in the car the other day, Jake's line of questioning had to do with the diets of particular animals (or more specifically, every animal he could think of).

"Mom, what do birds eat?"
Seeds, bugs, and worms, mostly.

"Well, what do bugs eat?"
Plants, other bugs...

...this went on for the entire car ride.

By the time we were home and walking through the front door, we were up to lions.

"Mom, what do lions eat?"

Trying to juggle an armful of things, including Ryan in his carseat, I answered, "Lions can eat whatever they want, Jake."

He paused.

"So....like, bananas and jelly beans, then?"

Exactly.

The Craft Space

2010-05-13T22:30:00.001-07:00

I meant to post this a long time ago.

Here is the $25 cabinet I found on craigslist. It was a tv cabinet. I forgot to take pictures of it opened up, but it was basically just a big empty space inside the doors.

I bought a big piece of plywood and made some shelves. I sanded and painted the cabinet to match the room it would be living in.

I replaced the damaged back panel with a new piece of plywood. I just stapled a pretty fabric over it to make the inside if the cabinet a bit prettier.

Add a few fun knobs, some drawer liners, and here it is. The new (small) home to all of my craft supplies. I could lie and say that I don't have a bunch of plastic bins full of yarn out in the garage...

New Jammies

2010-05-11T20:31:00.000-07:00

I have a fabric problem. As in, I have too much fabric. It's sort of like my yarn problem...though not quite as bad.

When I moved all of my craft stuff from its old home in the office into the garage during the remodel, I was a little shocked to see just how much fabric and yarn I had stashed away. Some of it was really great stuff...that I had surely purchased for some reason.

Since I no longer have a craft room but a craft space, I promised myself that I would go through all of my stash before bringing anything back into the house. My craft supplies would need to be limited to the space available in a cabinet. This cabinet, to be more precise.

I also vowed to stop buying more fabric until I had used some of what I already had.

Well, I really, really want to buy more fabric. I know I don't need it. I just want it.

So...I decided it was time to actually sit down and make something. I'd had plans (in my head, at least) to make some cute little dresses for some cute little girls I know. I pulled out all of my fabric and found some inspiration for a design online.

Here's the girlie stuff...

This was actually the first thing I made. A little snuggly thing for Ryan.
And I certainly don't want to forget about my boys, so here is what they got this afternoon.

(These jammy pants are perhaps the easiest things to sew. I was inspired by this mommy's awesome how-to on her blog.)

While I still have plenty of fabric left, these projects definitely made a dent in the pile. At least that's what I'm going to tell myself when I head out to the fabric store.

Smile

2010-05-07T16:31:00.000-07:00

This picture makes me smile.

If you know my mom, it probably makes you smile, too.

Happy Mothers' Day to all the great moms. May your children love you as much as I love my Mom.

Here Goes...

2010-04-28T10:06:00.000-07:00

It's now been two days and I think I'm ready to share...

First of all, to all of you moms out there who feel compelled to check on your sleeping babies obsessively...DO IT. Clearly there is a reason that moms do this. Here it is.

Om Monday afternoon we put Ryan down in his bed for a nap. We went on about the afternoon. My mom and I were watching the Sabres game on my computer, getting things ready for dinner, playing with Jake. Ben came home from work just like normal. My mom went back to check on Ryan and see if he was ready to get up. She said he was making a different kind of sound so she went in to get him.

He was covered in vomit and had a blanket over his head.

She picked him up, brought him out to show me how much he had thrown up all over himself. I looked at him and something was wrong. He didn't look right...

Mom carried him over to the sink to wipe him off. I followed and as she held him I looked at his little face.

His lips were blue. The rest of him was white. I watched his eyes roll back in his head and he went limp. We couldn't wake him up. But he was breathing. I grabbed him and held him...he looked like someone who had OD'd.

Perhaps there are those of you reading this who know exactly the right thing to do at this moment. All I will say is that in the moment, it's very hard to know the right thing to do. Do you call an ambulance? How long will they take to get there? Do you drive to the hospital...it's close?

Ben went into warp speed action and somehow get the car started as I carried my baby out. We jumped in, my mom throwing the car seat and a diaper bag into the back somehow. We raced to the hospital.

I was just holding him, trying to rouse him, and getting nothing. But, he was still breathing.

As we drove, his color gradually started returning and by the time we got to the ER, he had some pink back in his sweet little face.

We walked in to the ER (which I could rant about but won't) and were admitted after a short wait.

By the time we were in triage, Ryan was smiling and flirting with the nurse. He looked perfect. We were taken to a bed in the ER and they monitored him for a bit...perfectly fine. They took him for a chest x-ray to make sure there was nothing in his lungs that shouldn't have been. All clear. He was being so charming that the ER nurse begged us to let her babysit him for a while.

The pediatrician look him over, looked at the x-ray. The best that they can guess is that he had choked on his vomit. After checking heart rate, temp, blood oxygen, breathing, they told us we could either leave him there to monitor him overnight or take him home. He explained that the reason for admitting him overnight would simply be to give US the peace of mind that he was being monitored and not because he was afraid the same thing would happen again.

We took our little guy home.

He slept in my arms all night. I didn't dare to close my eyes or put him down. (I guess he was MOMitored all night).

He's perfectly fine.

I am not. Not really. While I suppose I know that this was just a crazy thing that happened, I'm not sure how you ever stop being paranoid.

Monday night, as I was sitting up squeezing and kissing my boy, I remembered something.

Earlier that afternoon, just before the whole thing started, Mom and I were sitting at my computer watching a stream of the Sabres game. My printer started making noise, as if it were going to print something. It wasn't even hooked up to my computer, so it was definitely not something I did. Mom said, "Oh, it must be Grandpa." (Some of you will know why we assumed this to be true...if you don't, just know that he has made numerous appearances through electronic devices.)

I know Grandpa was here. I suspect Ryan knows it, too.

Calm

2010-04-19T11:55:00.000-07:00

I woke up in a bad mood this morning. It started out because of some annoying dream I was having. I don't remember what it was about now, but I was irritated when I woke up. Then Jake crawled in bed next to me at about 6:45. And when I say crawled, I actually mean jumped and landed like a clumsy elephant on the bed and continued to flop around and throw elbows into my head. Whatever. If the morning had not progressed into whining and complaining about everything it would have been fine...

So we went outside to play and I just sat and drank a cup of coffee. Sitting in my yard always has a way of calming me. Here are a few of the pretty things that helped today....

Eggs

2010-04-11T18:11:00.001-07:00

Now that all three chickens have started laying eggs again (apparently they take some time off in the winter months), we are treated to this colorful selection each morning:

Who needs egg dye?

Big Boy

2010-04-09T19:17:00.000-07:00

Ryan is big enough to sit in a high chair and eat real food. How did this happen?

Of course I only post pictures of smiling babies, but this kid really is pretty smiley. I'm glad he doesn't mind my obsessive picture taking.

Easter Cupcakes

2010-04-03T17:45:00.000-07:00

I needed to make Easter cupcakes to take to our family Easter celebration this year. Last year, I make some cute little bunny butt cupcakes (I'll find a pic and post it later), so I couldn't just make cupcakes and plunk them down on a plate...

My mo suggested a "cupcake bouquet," and I thought that was a fantastic idea, being spring and all!

I started by making two boxes of vanilla cake batter and pouring it into mini cupcake/muffin pans. I only made 96, but still had batter left over.

After they cooled, I made a lemon buttercream frosting. DELICIOUS.

(I used three sticks of softened, unsalted butter and enough powdered sugar and lemon juice to make it taste right...sorry, no measuring) and whipped it in the blender til it was fluffy.

I picked a few pretty colors (gel food coloring really is the best) and dyed the frosting.

Then I just made up some designs...I mostly used a plastic bag with a corner cut off rather than a special tip for a pastry bag.

Then, I jammed a skewer through the bottom of the cupcakes to make "stems." I was afraid they would slide down the stick, so I first put a sticky gumdrop on the stick. it worked well to hold the cupcakes in place.

I put a piece of floral foam in the bottom of the pot and started arranging my "flowers." After I had about 30 in each pot (I made two), I cut some leaves from my grapefruit tree and stuck those in along the edges to fill it the empty space around the bottom.

I think they turned out cute!

The Man in the Moon

2010-03-31T23:15:00.000-07:00

People have asked me how I get such good, clear photos. I will confess that it's not due to any skill on my part. I just have a really, really nice camera. And when you combine a nice camera with a nice lens...well, the results are bound to be good.

I actually used my super zoom lens and my tripod tonight. Go ahead. Click on the picture. If you look, you can actually see craters on the moon in this photo.

Maybe you can also see the Man in the Moon...I can't but I only had one glass of wine tonight.

Testing Something

2010-03-31T21:10:00.000-07:00

I was testing out a mosaic photo-thingy and wanted to see how it looked here...

Try it here.

Life Gave Me Lemons

2010-03-31T19:42:00.001-07:00

This is my lemon tree.

I have already been picking and using lemons for about two months.

This is my child.

I was attempting to use him in some of these shots for scale. You know, to show just how big these lemons really are.

Yeah...if you know my dear child, you know that placing a huge lemon next to his head is perhaps not the best way to illustrate this. Now that I'm looking at these photos, they actually look a bit like normal sized lemons next to his head.

Regardless, these pictures make me laugh and I thought I'd share.

Too Many Lemons

2010-03-31T16:38:00.000-07:00

My lemon tree has been particularly prolific this year. As in, so many lemons that the branches are bending.

What in the world does one do with hundreds (not exaggerating) of lemons? I hate to just leave them on the tree...it just seems so wasteful.

I've been trying to think of ways to use these delicious-smelling gifts covering my tree. Here are a few (Jacob thought up a few of these):

cargo to haul in dump trucks
dog toys to throw around the yard
garbage disposal cleaners
pond decorations (they do look lovely floating in there)
centerpieces on tables
yard fresheners (they smell delightful when run over by the lawnmower)

I've been using lemon juice in every meal I've prepared for weeks. Anyone have a great lemon recipe they'd care to share?

Here was my effort for today:

Sugar cookies with lemon frosting. We were going to have some friends over this afternoon and I realized I had no snacks to offer. I absolutely cheated and made the cookies from a package of cookie mix (I've honestly never done this before...and now wonder why?) but did make the frosting. It is so yummy. But really, could butter, sugar, and lemon juice possibly taste bad?

Weekends are for...

2010-03-22T10:15:00.000-07:00

Eating oranges in the yard...

I didn't know dogs were such good orange peelers.

Planting flowers..

And more flowers. And veggies.

For the past few years I had a dedicated area for a veggie garden. I was trying to figure out where to put a new one since I've lost that space due to the remodel, and decided that I don't actually need a separate plot of land for veggies. Mixed in amongst the planters on my patio, I have tomatoes, beans, soybeans, cabbage, lettuce, strawberries, and a whole assortment of herbs. I still need a few more things, but I'm kind of liking the idea of having a "pretty" veggie garden mixed in with my other plants.

Golf

2010-03-21T22:03:00.000-07:00

I played golf today. For the first time ever. On a real golf course.

I thought I would hate it. Ben was trying very hard to convince me that I would have a terrible time and that we would be a problem for everyone else on the course...

Well, it was fun. I'm glad I went and tried it.

And then I even ate sushi for dinner. Taking some major steps out of my comfort zone!

Springy Feeling

2010-03-17T19:08:00.000-07:00

Ah, what a wonderful day it is when you can list your accomplishments as getting sunburned while sipping freshly squeezed lemonade and chatting with a friend.

Here are a few of the things that made me happy today...

His "nasty" face makes me laugh.

"Sit near your brother so I can take a picture, please."

Testing the Water

2010-03-16T10:06:00.000-07:00

Since Jacob turned three, he has been doing a lot of "testing." He tests me constantly, every day. For example, at the park I will tell him that he cannot go past THAT tree. Of course, he will immediately run right up to THAT tree and put a toe or two over the imaginary line, just to see if there will be a reaction.

The testing that particularly amuses me is the testing of new phrases. It amuses me not so much because it's funny when your kid yells "tough beans" at his friend, but because he almost uses things in the right context. Almost.

This morning on the way to school...

Jake: Mom, who's singing on the radio?
Me: That's Bob Marley, Jake.
J: Oh, damn it.

Maybe he's just not into Bob in the morning?

So...mom is supposed to get mad and tell you not to say that, right? Right? I know for sure mom isn't supposed to laugh.

And now I wonder how many times my parents were turning their heads away from us so that we wouldn't see them laughing while they were scolding us.

Heard this today...

2010-03-16T10:04:00.001-07:00

Actually, that's not entirely true. I heard an acoustic version of this and it was much nicer than this one I found...

Words & music by paul simon

When I was a little boy, (when I was just a boy)
And the devil would call my name (when I was just a boy)
I'd say "now who do,
Who do you think you're fooling? " (when I was just a boy)
I'm a consecrated boy (when I was just a boy)
I'm a singer in a sunday choir
Oh , my mama loves, she loves me
She get down on her knees and hug me
Like she loves me like a rock
She rocks me like the rock of ages
And loves me
She love me, love me, love me, love me

When I was grown to be a man (grown to be a man)
And the devil would call my name (grown to be a man)
I'd say "now who do,
Who do you think you're fooling? " (grown to be a man)
I'm a consummated man (grown to be a man)
I can snatch a little purity
My mama loves me, she loves me
She get down on her knees and hug me
Like she loves me like a rock
She rocks me like the rock of ages
And loves me
She love me, love me, love me, love me
And if I was president (was the president)
The minute congress call my name (was the president)
I'd say "who do,
Who do you think you're fooling? (who do you think you're fooling)

I've got the presidential seal (was the president)
I'm up on the presidential podium
My mama loves me
She loves me
She get down on her knees and hug me
Like she loves me like a rock
She rocks me like the rock of ages
And loves me

Happy Pup

2010-03-10T08:53:00.000-08:00

My rug finally came in yesterday. I love the idea of Walmart's Site to Store ordering thing, but each time I've tried it I've been frustrated by the actual process. I'm not sure why I always expect more from Walmart employees...but whatever.

I put the rug down, walked away for two minutes, and this is what I found when I came back:

One happy pup curled up on the rug.

Good thing it's not actually white but more of a golden retriever color.

And I didn't take a picture of it specifically, but the new light is hanging over the dining table. Ben wired it up for me last night!

One coffee table and a few things on the wall to go, and we're ready for a party.

Pics for Mom

2010-03-08T15:07:00.001-08:00

Let me know if you need me to email them to you...

The Bink

2010-03-03T21:02:00.001-08:00

I have said for three years now that when Jake turned three, he would have to lose the binkie.

He turned three February 1st.

He still sleeps with that binkie.

I caved in on his birthday because he wasn't even able to sleep at home...we were in the middle of refinishing the ceilings in the bedrooms and the whole house was a bit chaotic. I didn't have the heart to make him cry on his birthday, and thought there was enough disruption in his life at that point that the fight wasn't worth it. After all, he only uses it at night.

So today I was looking at his silly little smile and examining his teeth. I swear, the two front ones on the bottom are turning in, right where a binkie would push on them. Maybe I'm imagining it, maybe this has nothing to do with the binkie at all, but it made me decide that now is as good a time as any. He knows he is a big boy and he knows this is coming.

Jake was very mellow all day today, and even more agreeable than usual at bedtime. We had a bath, read a silly story...and then talked about how big boys don't sleep with binkies. He seemed to understand the concept, though he definitely did not agree. I am pretty sure if he knew the expression "agree to disagree" he would have used it.

I had one of the two remaining binkies hidden in my pocket, and told him that it would be a good night to just try sleeping without it. He, of course, needed a drink of water. I even left the cup next to his bed because "big boys get to keep water by their beds." (It's funny the rules and "laws" I've learned since having kids.)

Since it was already late and I knew he was tired, I figured if he could just be calm about not having it for a few minutes, he would drift off and we could celebrate the victory in the morning. I was actually sure that he would fall asleep.

We looked at the clock. It said 8:44. He agreed to go without until nine-oh-oh. Kisses, hugs, goodnights.

"Remember, mom. Nine-oh-oh and I get my binkie."

"Right Jake. Goodnight."

I came out into the living room and showed off the prize hidden in my pocket to Ben. One icky yellow binkie. I told Ben about our little deal. I also joked that Jake would either fall right asleep or be sitting there patiently til nine-oh-oh and then demand the binkie.

I sat down at my computer and got lost on Facebook for a bit. I happened to look at the clock on my computer screen just as it changed from 8:59 to....

"Nine-oh-oh, Mommy. You can come and bring me my binkie now, please."

So, at least we are practicing patience?

And is it silly that I am a little sad about the whole idea, too? Jake is my baby...the binkie is one of the few remaining baby things left about him. He's such a little boy now. These last few weeks are the first time in his whole life that I've ever really felt like time was going by too fast. I want to bottle up his sweetness and innocence and keep him like this forever.

One of my most favorite parts of the day is early in the morning when Jake crawls into bed next to me and is cuddly and warm and sleepy. He snuggles down under the covers with his head on my pillow and watches Sesame Street until Ryan wakes up Then comes my other most favorite part of the day. I adore Ben and wish he could be home with us all day, but I have to admit that I relish that quiet time first thing in the morning when I get to have both of my boys all to myself, with their messy morning hair and sleepy eyes. I love having them both in the big bed with me on a cloudy morning, dogs curled around our feet, Curious George on the little tv on my dresser.

I love it even more when I realize that these perfect moments won't last forever. I mean, we do have to get out of bed and function on a daily basis and this I can deal with. What makes me get all teary is knowing that this part of my life won't last forever. I know that there are many beautiful things to come and I intend to enjoy every minute of each and every one of them...but I already know that this, this hectic, exhausting, frustrating, wonderful, funny, sweet, crazy time will be one that I will always look upon as one of the best.

Furniture!

2010-03-01T09:40:00.000-08:00

We finally have furniture in our living room again! I love it.

The plan is to find a white-ish shaggy rug to put under the seating area and find a fun coffee/cocktail table.

I'm also looking for a light fixture to hang over the dining table...

Next project: make a craft armoire

I found a wardrobe cabinet on craigslist for $25. It's in great shape and is just the right size to be my new craft closet.

I am going to paint it, wallpaper the inside with some funky paper, add a few shelves and some new knobs and drawer pulls...

Holko House

2010-02-26T09:31:00.000-08:00

Getting there...

Dining area moved to new location, much better with more space. Now I just need a cool light fixture/chandelier type thing to hang over the table...

New red color in the entryway and light gray color in the hallway, solar tube light in the bathroom really makes it bright

I needed something fun since it's such a boring color now...

It looks really dark in this picture...it's still better than it was before. This will be the "before" shot, as we anticipate actually having furniture in here tomorrow.

Ad Copy

2010-02-24T14:27:00.001-08:00

2010 ad to run in the Upstate Gardeners' Journal

Holko House - Review

2010-02-19T22:29:00.000-08:00

I've learned many things throughout the process of this house remodel. A few of the recent ones:

Drinking a glass or two of wine while painting makes the job even more enjoyable.

Drinking more than two glasses of wine while painting makes the job a huge waste of time (since you will likely need to go back and "touch-up" the entire wall).

Dogs are terrified of air compressors.

Little boys can sleep through anything, including hammering and swearing right outside their bedroom doors.

Just because you really like a color does not mean you should paint it on your wall.

Everything related to home improvement takes at least twice as long as you think it should.

It is easier to start another big project than it is to finish up a little one. This is stupid, but absolutely true...as evidenced by the fact that I have yet to touch up the paint in the living room (see above).

Ben and I do not work well together when there is any "figuring" to do. Apparently, we both know everything and this poses a problem when neither of us really know what we are talking about.

Three year-olds make great assistants when you need to move dirt.

Three year-olds do not make great assistants when you are painting (or doing anything other than moving dirt, really).

Babies who like to be held all day provided excuses for relaxation.

Construction dust takes a very long time to settle.

We are not yet finished with this whole project. I'm not sure we ever will be done, but I am sure there are many more lessons to be learned.

More pictures will be coming soon. My camera just took a trip to Africa (really) and will be back next week.

Holko House - Patio

2010-02-14T06:45:00.000-08:00

Woo hoo! Patio done!

My first beer in the new and improved yard!

Taking my Dad to the airport this morning, it felt a little silly to simply say "thank you," when what I really meant was "thank you for buying a plane ticket, taking a week out of your regularly scheduled life, coming to stay at my house, sharing a room with a three year-old, providing expertise on patio building and general home improvement, shoveling countless tons of gravel and sand, carrying and laying a thousand bricks...and not getting annoyed with us the whole time."

So....Thanks, I guess?

Holko House - Patio

2010-02-11T19:19:00.000-08:00

Finally! We are working on putting the yard back together. I cannot imagine how this would ever have been done without my Dad's help.

We started by moving and fixing the sprinkler system (a job I was really dreading). Dad did it all. And made it seem incredibly easy.

Next step was to add gravel to raise the patio level up. We moved about 5 yards of gravel from the driveway to the backyard via wheelbarrow. Thank God Jake helped.

Then came the sand. Another yard and a half to shovel into wheelbarrows and haul to the backyard.
And then the stone...I'm not sure how many tons of stone this is, but there are 1000 pieces. To move to the backyard. By hand. More specifically, my hands and my Dad's hands. This is not all of it...
I didn't take a picture tonight before it got dark to mark our progress in the laying of the stones, but we got maybe about a third of it done. It looks great.

Holko House

2010-02-06T10:19:00.000-08:00

My Sweet Boy

2010-01-29T15:31:00.000-08:00

Guess who slept from 9:00 last night until 8:00 this morning?

I'm not going to pretend that I think this will happen every night, but it sure is a good sign of things to come.

On the downside, Jake was up and ready to play at precisely 6:30 this morning. We could have done without that.

Holko House

2010-01-25T16:55:00.001-08:00

This is VERY exciting. This weekend we finished installing the flooring. It looks gorgeous. I love, love, love it. We didn't put in the baseboards yet, and they might wait for a little while (explanation in a moment).

Then last night we had to move all of the furniture out of our living room/dining area in order to clear the space for the drywall guys to do their popcorn removal thing today. We just moved all of that furniture out into the new room...and I like it so much that now I don't want to put it back where it was.

And....as Ben and I were sitting on the couch in here last night (of course, I am sitting in the new room as I type this), we decided we just liked the whole look and feel of it all so much that we want to go ahead and put this new flooring throughout the rest of the living area. Our old laminate flooring is still ok, but it's starting to show many signs of wear and will need to be replaced in a few years. As we learned when we wanted to replace the area in THAT floor where the fireplace was removed, it is not always possible to find the same thing...

It was actually impossible, as that particular flooring was discontinued about five years ago. I realize that this little problem is not enough to warrant replacing the entire floor, but it definitely helped sway the decision.

Next on the list: replace the roof on the house (and hopefully stop all of the leaking), pull up and replace old laminate flooring, and put in a new flagstone patio.

Holko House

2010-01-19T15:40:00.000-08:00

Getting closer and closer all the time...

Painted a light gray color (quite a diversion from my normally saturated color palette, but I wanted to keep it bright)

The texture on the walls

And the ceiling fans! I had no idea there would be so many choices and that it would be so difficult to actually MAKE a choice...

We're still waiting on a little bit of electrical work to be finished and then the door frame between the old house and the new part. After that, the contractors are pretty much done with the project.

Our flooring is supposed to be in today or tomorrow, which then means Ben and I have to install it. It was more expensive than the stock laminate we were originally going to go with, but it really is pretty and I'm excited to see how it looks.

Then, the fireplace! We needed to put a heater in the room but I didn't want to just plug in a space heater and have to then look at it all the time (because who actually puts them away and pulls them out each time they want to use them?)...so this was my solution to the problem.

It should be here by 1/25...I cannot wait to see how it looks. It was hard to order this thing, sight unseen, and trust that it's not going to be too cheesy. I hope it is pretty.

So, still more work to be done, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. And on the ceiling.

The Michael Factor

2010-01-14T10:42:00.000-08:00

I pulled out a bunch of old pictures while I was home. There were some real gems in there, some of which I stole and will scan later. The most interesting ones were some baby pictures of my brother Mick. When Ryan was first born, I thought he looked a little bit like Mick...

Holko House

2010-01-10T09:26:00.000-08:00

We returned home from a fantastic voyage to Buffalo to find an almost-finished room! The outside is done...roof is on, siding is up and painted, trim is in place. Inside, drywall has been hung and is just waiting for the finish work, which should happen tomorrow.

Today, Ben and I are going to pick out flooring and ceiling fans, and a paint color for the walls! Yay!

More on the Buffalo trip later............

Birdies

2010-01-01T23:30:00.000-08:00

Baby Bear

2009-12-17T23:06:00.000-08:00

I had this video on my phone and wanted to make sure it found a home somewhere. I took this video of Ryan while my mom was holding him. He's less than 12 hours old here...so sweet.

See why it was so shocking when they told me a few hours later that this perfect baby had a heart defect?

Well, he's perfect now :)

Whoa!

2009-12-16T19:15:00.000-08:00

I really, really didn't think Ryan looked that much like Jake. Apparently, I forgot what Jake looked like as a baby.

Ok, so I was wrong.

At least I know Ryan will be cute when he's two!

Holko House

2009-12-15T10:04:00.000-08:00

Yay Fluffy!

2009-12-12T08:52:00.000-08:00

Fluffy the Chicken laid her first egg! What makes it even more exciting is that it's pink. I did not know what her eggs would look like, but this one sure does look cute next to the greenish-blue ones Dorothy and Betty lay. How fun.

It's also nice that the big girls finally started laying again. It's been months! Apparently they were taking a fall break...

Brothers

2009-12-11T23:33:00.001-08:00

I LOVE this picture. Not because it's a particularly gorgeous photo or anything. I love it because it's a picture of my little boys together, doing the same thing. I know that they are just laying on the floor together (really, that's all Ryan can do anyhow), but it somehow signals the start of many things they will do together. I SO look forward to the days when they will be playing in the yard together, riding bikes together, making up games and silly songs together.

Every single day I am thankful for my own brothers. Even though we now live in several different places around the country, there are few people in my life that I am closer to. I know I wrote about this before, before Ryan was here. Now I'm just happy that he IS here and my two little boys can begin the process of becoming brothers and best friends.

People keep talking about "sibling rivalry" and warning me that Jacob will regress and begin acting out as a result of having a new baby in the house. Am I delusional to think that it's just not going to be an issue? Because I really don't. Of course Jacob will have moments when he doesn't want to hold the baby or listen to him cry. I have those moments, too. And sometimes he will act like a big baby to get attention. He did that before. And sometimes (or ALL the time) he will talk excessively so that I am paying attention to him. He definitely did that before.

So I'm just not that worried about how this new addition could possibly affect him negatively. He still gets plenty of attention. I still love him like I did before. Amazingly, there is not a finite amount of love that you have to divide amongst your children. It just gets bigger and bigger.

Except for the excessive little boy butt-wiping I seem to be doing lately, this whole thing is turning out to be even better than I imagined. I love my boys.

Damn Dr. Phil Show

2009-12-03T15:42:00.000-08:00

I just wrote a completely different post here...and deleted it.

I was watching yesterday's episode of Dr. Phil and completely lost it. He did a story about a beautiful 5 year old girl with a brain tumor. In light of the events of the past twelve days, watching a show about a sick child was bound to cause a reaction.

My first reaction, and the first draft of this post, had more to do with how unfair and crappy it is that anything bad can happen to a child. It's wrong. I hate it.

But I realized that the real reason I fell apart is that I am so thankful for this moment I am in right now. My beautiful Jacob is tucked into his bed, taking a nap after a good day at school. He taught me the Christmas tree song he learned today. He smiled at me before I closed his door and told me he loves me "a lot, a lot, a lot." Sweet baby Ryan is sleeping soundly in his little bed, heart beating away and pumping good blood through his little body. I LOVE my boys so, so much. A lot, a lot, a lot. I am so thankful that right now, we are all safe. We are all healthy. We are all happy. We get to have Daddy home with us every night. We have the most wonderful, supportive family and friends anyone could ask for. I very much credit all of the positive thoughts and prayers for Ryan's continued improvement.

So, as much as my tears this afternoon started out as sad tears for that little girl on tv and her family, they really are tears of thankfulness for the blessings I have in my life. And if you are reading this, then you are truly counted as one of the blessings I know I am so lucky to have.

And I feel better today than I did yesterday.

And Christmas time is here and we get to decorate. And make cookies.

Yep, life is good today.

My Handsome Husband

2009-11-30T01:00:00.000-08:00

I know I am lucky. This really is a wonderful guy...and he's cute.

Love you, Ben.

Dear Ryan

2009-11-19T02:49:00.000-08:00

My dear boy, I am waiting for you to make your appearance. I am very happy that you decided to stay in as long as you have, but it's really time to move out.

Granmpa Mike came out just to meet you...and now he has to go home tomorrow without seeing you. Your big brother Jacob sure did enjoy his special time with Grampa, though. And you lucky little boys will get to visit him and everyone else in Buffalo in just a few weeks for Christmas...

Gramma Jojo is here waiting for you, too, along with everyone else who can't wait to meet you. So just in case you were wondering, now would be a great time to make your first appearance.

Let's go.

Random Pics

2009-11-12T14:52:00.001-08:00

I got my new camera lens today, and I had to run outside immediately and snap a few pics. I LOVE it!

And the more I play around with Photoshop, the more I love that, too.

Just Because...

2009-11-10T15:14:00.002-08:00

...I know someday I will be sorry if I don't have any pictures of this. And yes, it appears in reverse order, because I prefer to think of it going back in that direction.

39 weeks

37 weeks

30 weeks

18 weeks

15 weeks 4 days

from 03.27.09, whatever week that was

Two things I realize in looking at these pictures:

I already have fewer pictures of Ryan than of Jacob at this point.
As hideous as I thought my belly looked when I took this first picture, I would be very, very happy if it ever looked like that again. Sadly, I realize this is not likely. Oh well.

So Tiny

2009-11-09T09:10:00.001-08:00

Last week I finally got around to pulling out and washing all of the baby clothes I had saved from Jacob's baby days. I know babies are small, but I didn't realize how easy it would be to forget just how small my sweet boy once was.

As I pulled out each little tiny piece of clothing, I remembered when Jacob outgrew it and I had to pack it away. I remember telling my Mom that I had started a "bin of sadness" in the garage where I put all of the clothes that he had outgrown. I was a little sad to pack these things away because I knew it meant my baby was growing up.

Now as I am opening these "bins of sadness," all I feel is happy. I absolutely adore the "big boy" Jacob has grown into. I wouldn't go back to his babyhood for anything...

Every day he makes me laugh.

Every day he surprises me with some new thing that he has learned.

Every day he amazes me with his ability to test my patience.

Every day he makes me a better person.

And soon, I will have two of these amazing, magical creatures running about my house.

Truth be told, I actually look forward to the day when I put these tiny clothes away for good. When I close my eyes and think of a perfect day, I picture my two little boys snuggled up next to me ( just like Jake is right now), eating Rice Krispie snacks and watching Sesame Street. I hear their giggles and silly jokes. I hear them stomping around the house like little dinosaurs. I see the piles of blocks on the floor and know that even though I'll have to clean it all up later, they will have good memories of being my little boys.

The BIG To-Do List

2009-11-05T17:02:00.000-08:00

There have been three things on my Big List for a while:

1. Start (and eventually complete) our house addition.
2. Get Jacob to take a crap in the toilet instead of his pants.
3. Finish this whole pregnant thing and see my healthy baby boy #2.

We have accomplished two of these three things. In one day. I'll call it great forward progress. And really, the other one will be accomplished soon. He can't stay in there forever :)

Holko House, Week 1

2009-11-05T16:50:00.000-08:00

Let's start over, counting THIS week as week 1.

Big, exciting things in the last two days. It's amazing how fast things can happen when you pay someone to do it!

Fireplace is gone, or at least in a pile of rubble outside.

You know, this looks a lot more dramatic in person than it does here...I suppose this shot doesn't look much different than the last ones I posted.

Rubble.

The trench along the street side of the house. This will be for drainage and also to run electrical conduit.

The view from the back door of the existing house. You can see the footprint of the addition because the footings are dug out!

We should have concrete poured Thursday or Friday next week. Perfect.

blog header image

2009-11-02T08:13:00.001-08:00

New Blog Name

2009-11-01T21:18:00.000-08:00

A few thoughts about the new blog name...

Three Men and a Lady
Outvoted
Boys Against Girl
Two Donkeys and a Jackass (inspired by Ben, the jackass)
Snips, Snails and Puppy Dog Tales

I am making this into a waaaaay harder thing than it needs to be.

Holko House

2009-10-29T21:38:00.000-07:00

Woo hoo! We have stamped permits and a signed contract.

Work is to commence on (or before!) November 6th.

Nevermind that this is quite possible the WORST timing possible. You know, with the whole baby due in less than three weeks thing going on and all. But whatever. I'm not sure that there will be a good time for a long time, so we may as well jump in.

I'm am very much looking forward to being able to post a picture of something in a post titled "Holko House." Soon.

More Crafts

2009-10-26T21:05:00.001-07:00

A few more things I've made recently...

Another diaper bag, but for a GIRL :)

The cutest sweater I've ever knit. Girl stuff is just a whole lot cuter than boy stuff...

(knit with Sublime yarn, sooo soft and cuddly!)

And while these don't count as "crafty," they sure made me happy. Ah, cupcakes...

These were for my friend Anna's baby shower. I'm not sure I have ever felt so honored to attend a baby shower as I felt to be a part of Anna's. The baby girl who will soon be calling her mommy is truly one of the luckiest girls in the world. Anna is among the most beautiful people I have ever met, and her pure kindness just radiates to all who are lucky enough to know her.

And anyone who gets teary every time they open up a present that says, "I love Mommy" is bound to be a great mom.

Story from Mick

2009-10-26T21:01:00.000-07:00

Mick: I just read your blog about little boys and for some reason remembered a story Will Rockingbear told us a couple of weeks ago, and thought I should share it...

Will went on a hike to a local waterfall and ran into a family he knew... mom, dad, 8 and 9 year old boys and 5 year old little girl. Mom climbed up a large rock to see the waterfall better and talk to some other parents. The girl called her for help and mom said "you can do it." The girl struggled for a few minutes before finally getting up and came and sat by mom who just smiled at her and continued with her conversation. The other parents questioned mom, "why did you not praise her for climbing up that rock, that was a hard thing for a little girl to do. Tell her what a good job she just did... Pay attention to your kids." Mom said, "She did not climb the rock for me, she did it for herself and I want her to learn to feel accomplishment without being dependent upon my approval and praise."

A couple weeks later Will saw the father and the girl at Home Depot. The girl came and asked the father if he would take her to her brothers karate school with him that day. She said she wanted to talk to the sensei about joining the class. Dad said "sure I'll take you." Will said, "she seems young to be starting karate." Dad said "yeah she is only 5 and the minimum age for the class is 7, I remember they wouldn't let my youngest son start with his brother until he was 7, but who am I to speak for the sensei. She didn't ask me if she could join the class, she asked me if I could take her to talk to the sensei."(Already seems pretty confident and independent for a 5 year old girl.)

So Dad took her to the dojo. She took off her shoes bowed as she had seen her brothers do and kneeled at the edge of the mat watching until class was finished. The sensei came up and greeted her after class. The father did not hear the conversation between her and the sensei, he didn't feel he had to be involved. The girl hadn't asked for anything more than a ride to the dojo. The girl finished her converstion and said she was ready to go. The kids were kids on the ride home and didn't speak of much other than kid stuff. Later that night the girl asked her dad if he would be able to take her again next Tuesday with her brothers. Dad asked why. She said very matter of factly, "because that's when I start my first class."

Little Boys

2009-10-19T00:09:00.000-07:00

I'm still thinking of a new name for The Jacob Page.

In my "research", I've been reading quotes about little boys. Here are a few of my favorites...

A boy is Truth with dirt on it's face,
Beauty with a cut on its finger,
Wisdom with bubble gum in its hair,
and the Hope of the future with a frog in its pocket.
-- Author Unknown

A boy's story is the best that is ever told.
-- Charles Dickens

A treasure to a little boy does not consist of money, gems or jewellery. He will find far greater pleasure in the wonder of a rock, pebble, stick or beetle.
-- Author Unknown

Between the innocence of babyhood and the dignity of manhood, we find a delightful creature of a boy.
-- Author Unknown

Do not train boys to learning by force and harshness, but lead them by what amuses them, so that they may better discover the bent of their minds.
-- Plato

Mothers of little boys work from son up till son down!
-- Author Unknown

Of all the animals, the boy is most unmanageable.
-- Plato

Tall oaks from little acorns grow.
-- David Everett

Crafty

2009-10-18T20:11:00.000-07:00

Since I am too fat and tired to work on projects outside, I feel like I finally am off the hook. I always have a bunch of crafty projects in mind, just never the time to do them.

Since relieving myself of yard duty, I have more time to work on projects. With so many friends having babies, I've been working on lots of baby-related items. I never took a picture of the little elephant I knit for Jen (who, by the way, now has a very cute, sweet baby boy!), and I can't yet post pictures of the projects I finished for Anna's shower this weekend on the off chance she might see them here.

But, I figured that I needed to make something for my OWN baby, too. I have a somewhat unhealthy fascination with making bags. Knit bags, quilted bags, you name it, I am inspired to make it.

Inspiration is definitely not the same thing as motivation, so I have not made nearly as many as I have purchased supplies for.

But, I made this one yesterday. I used scrap fabric from a few different quilts I've made, and I'm really happy with the final result!

I also made a baby sling. I love the idea of slings, and figure that it will be nice to have both arms free to do the things necessary to corral a two-year-old, while still holding the new baby. If you've ever priced these oh-so-complicated strips of fabric, you are aware that they are RIDICULOUSLY expensive strips of fabric. Like more than $50 expensive. And seriously, that's all they are. A strip of fabric. And two rings. That's it.

Of course, I figured, "I can do THAT."

I ordered the special rings (no welds, won't snap, blah blah blah) and bought two yards of fabric. It literally took 5 minutes to hem an edge and seam the other side.

Done.

Now I just need someone little to snuggle into it. Four more weeks. That's all he gets. We are not playing around with this "overdue" nonsense.

My Baby

2009-10-12T10:54:00.000-07:00

I've spent a lot of time lately wondering what our new baby will look like? Will he come out looking just like Jacob? Will he look more like Ben? Will he have the blond hair and blue eyes I was expecting last time? 5 more weeks...sigh.

I am not entirely certain that the reality of this whole thing has hit me yet. I keep reading these week-by-week pregnancy updates and they keep talking about how "you probably have the nursery all set up and fully stocked." Apparently that's something you only worry about the first time around? We have NOTHING ready. And this really doesn't seem like a big deal to me. Babies don't come popping out and immediately go home, requiring diapers, a color-coordinated, themed room, and a closet full of cute outfits. I figure since we don't live in the middle of nowhere and there is a Wal-Mart literally between the hospital and my house, we could realistically stop there on the way home and pick up whatever it is we need, right? Besides, my mom, dad, or both will be here and they'll need something to do. And I think we've got most of the stuff we need around here somewhere, anyway.

I originally sat to write this post after taking the following photos of Jacob. From the time I sat down and began writing to now, he has gotten several warnings and a big, fat time-out. I was thinking about how beautiful and lovely my child is, and then he began to act like a whiney monster. "I NEED M&Ms MOOOOM. I NEED them."

It's amazing how quickly I can go from being excited about having two little boys to feeling like I am not prepared to handle this!

And now Jacob is back at my side, tell me he loves me and he wants to help. I guess it will all be ok :)

Holko House, Day ...?

2009-10-12T10:16:00.000-07:00

We are finally getting bids back from some contractors! We had 4 (or was it 5?) guys out to look at the plans and the site, and we've heard back from 2 of them so far. I figure if we hear from just one more, not only is that a pretty good percentage as far as contractor response rates, but it will also give us a pretty good idea about fair prices, etc.

I hope to have hired someone by the end of the week.

And then the fun begins. Sort of. I honestly cannot think of a worse time to rip off the back wall of our house and have workers in and out all day. We have some special visitors coming in just over a week ( I can't wait to see Carleigh!!!), and you know, the whole bringing home a new baby thing. Oh yeah, and it's getting colder out (a mixed blessing, really). But, if we don't do it now...I'm not sure when it will actually be a good time. It WAS a good time to start on this 4 months ago when we began the process. Oh well. Like I said to mom yesterday, I have to try to be thankful that we HAVE a house and that we are able to do this addition. Focus on the positive. And if you read this, please feel free to remind me of this when I start complaining.

Pie Might Make Me Happy...

2009-10-08T19:25:00.000-07:00

...but these Braxton-Hicks contractions and incredibly nasty back pain definitely do not make me feel very happy.

Pumpkin Pie Makes ME Happy, Too

2009-10-04T19:29:00.000-07:00

It really does.

This was just about a perfect weekend, actually. We got a lot of things done on Saturday (with no fighting or arguing), and spent Sunday together doing the kinds of things I think a little family is supposed to do on a Sunday. We went out to breakfast together, came home and snuggled under blankets and watched football on tv. There was the smell of pumpkin pie baking in the oven...really, can a day get any better than that?

And it was only about 70 degrees outside today. Normally, I am a fan of warmer weather, but I NEEDED a break from the hot...this was beautiful.

On another note...I've been thinking of alternative names for the Jacob Page. Obviously, it will need to change. The Jacob and Ryan Page just doesn't have the same ring to it, though...I'm hoping to be a bit more creative. I have a few ideas, and I'll open it up to a poll on the page soon. I will, however, encourage anyone who cares to make suggestions!

I'm headed back to the couch now to snuggle up with Ben and my blanket and dive back into my book. Ahhh.

Too Hot

2009-09-28T21:18:00.000-07:00

Really, I think it's the heat that has been making me so cranky. Pregnant + hot = the face you see here. (Mine, not Jake's. He apparently has no issues with the heat and makes himself quite comfortable.)

Today was cooler. I managed to clean and organize all of Jacob's toys (will post pictures tomorrow to memorialize this beautiful organization as it may never happen again). I made lasagna for dinner. I met with contractors. I didn't even yell at anyone, really.

And tomorrow is supposed to be even cooler. Yay.

I can't leave this post without posting a fun picture from this weekend. I went to Phoenix to visit with Jen and go to her baby shower. Soooo fun that we are both expecting a new baby at the same time. Even though we haven't seen each other for years, it seems like no time has passed. Friends are friends, no matter the time or distance that separates us.

Cute baby bellies :)

Apple Crisp...

2009-09-25T23:21:00.000-07:00

...definitely helps to make one feel a little better about their day.

So does a little boy who lays his head down next to you and says, "Mom, you're beautiful. I love you."

I don't even care if he was saying it so that I would let him drink my Dr. Pepper. I'll take it.

Holko House, Day ?+21

2009-09-25T11:13:00.000-07:00

I have a set of drawings on my dining room table. Actually, I have 5 sets of drawings on my table. They have an official sticker from the City of San Diego Development Services Department on them.

While this is better than having no drawings and no stickers, it does not mean that we are ready to proceed just yet. I picked up the drawings downtown yesterday after the initial review. The folks down at the office have been kind enough to provide us with a slew of "comments" on the drawings. We need to address all of these comments and return for a final (hopefully) review.

The good part is that none of the comments indicate that the project cannot go forward as planned. The design is structurally sound. The footprint falls witin all established setbacks. The zoning does not restrict this project in any way.

The bad part is that the design IS structurally sound, we are witin all setbacks, and the zoning is fine yet we STILL HAVE TO MAKE REVISIONS TO THE DRAWINGS.

Revisions like, "Reprint page T2 because it's a little hard to read." "The interior side yard setback is 4'. Update drawings to say this."

Ok, fine. But if you already KNOW that the setback is 4' and we're not building on that side anyhow....what difference does it make??? The building is not going to fall down and it's not infringing on anyone else's property.

I'm just frustrated by the whole process at this point. I have had a dirt pile outside my back doors for almost 3 months now. Don't get me wrong, I love dirt....just not the dirt clouds that blow through my back doors all day. I literally sweep the floors 3 times a day, collecting the equivalent of a 1 gallon pot worth of dirt each time. And then the dogs want to come in. They are like giant dirt collectors who deposit even more dirt in the house. Oh, and the thick layer of dust covering every surface of the house...so pretty.

As I said on Facebook yesterday, I'm over it. All of it.

It's hot. I'm tired. I'm fat. I am sick of dirt and dust. I'm sick of the smell of pee in the bathroom. I'm sick of my dogs barking at every single person that walks by. I'm sick of feeling guilty for sending jacob to preschool when he just cries all day. I'm sick of eating fast food, but I don't feel like cooking when it's so hot.

I'm sick of feeling so grouchy.

I really don't like being a complainer. I feel like that's all I've done lately. It's so easy to lose sight of the good things and focus on what is not making you happy. Can I blame it on hormones? That seems like a pretty lame excuse for being so unpleasant.

I will be all better soon.

And no, I'm not ready today. I am choosing to wallow in my self-pity for one more afternoon. Or maybe I'll go make some apple crisp...that always helps.

Holko House, Day ?

2009-09-07T23:18:00.003-07:00

I don't have the time or energy to figure out what day we are on for the house addition project...I know Day 1 was back in July, though. Let's call this the beginning of Month 3.

There will be no pictures to accompany this post, as there has been no visible progress. However, there has actually been some serious movement toward the goal.

We got in touch with a drafter to first take a look at the plans in the state of completion the Ben was able to get them to and provide us with comments. It seemed like we actually had a lot of the information we needed there and Ben had done a good job with the drawings and details. We were just missing a lot of the information that seems silly to me...like the correct forms for FAA regulation compliance (it's a single story house...?), demolition recycling agreements, things that have absolutely no bearing on whether the structure you are proposing will stand up or not.

Anyhow, after reviewing our drawings with the drafter, we decided it would be easier (though obviously more expensive) to have him get the drawings to a point where they could be presented to the city. I knew I would not be able to halp with the remaining work that needed to be done, and would have felt bad if Ben had to spend the next few weekends and every night buried in drawings. I'm glad we made the decision to have help. We also needed to have a structural engineer provide a few calculations (I will not get into how irritated I am by this...at least not now).

Last Friday, Ben and the drafter took the completed drawings to an initial meeting with the City Development Services Department. From what I can tell, it sounds like there were no major issues (this is NOT a complicated project...there should never have been any issues) and we should be on our way to a permit someday. When is someday? Well, that's entirely up to the City of San Diego at this point. Thus far, every employee I've talked to has mentioned how understaffed they are and how hard their jobs have become. Surely they'll get right on it and push this thing through.

Next steps:
Get bids from contractors (at least for foundation and framing)
Receive the permit to start work
Have a baby (somewhere in there, this needs to happen)

I'd love to post some progress pictures soon. For now, I'll just be happy with my bathroom.

Bathroom Project

2009-09-07T23:12:00.001-07:00

Oh yay! I finally got to take a bath in the (almost) finished bathroom! I had no idea how ridiculously happy this would make me.

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There are just a few more seams to be caulked and accessories to be added, then I am done with what I am able to do. The closet is a work in progress, but there is a plan in the works for that and it will have a door and shelves soon.

Ahh...

Bathroom Project

2009-09-04T09:00:00.000-07:00

Tile is all up...just not grouted yet in these pictures...

I just have to finish the grouting around the bottom trim strip and we are done with tile for a long time.

My most favorite thing so far? The cool new toilet seat I found that has a built-in kid seat in the lid. No more stuffing Jacob's little potty seat next to the toilet. Simple things...

Ryan is here today to move the hall closet into the bathroom for us...YAY! So, I will post more pics later.

Bathroom Project

2009-08-31T16:30:00.000-07:00

After much debate, I finally picked out something to use as an upper border in the tiled tub area. It is slate tiles inset into white ceramic...and since the floor is slate and the field tiles are white ceramic, it seemed to make sense, And Ben liked it, too...

So this afternoon I finished (except for two little tiny pieces and the bottom row) the big wall. I HATE cutting the tiles with the snap cutter so I won't move on til Ben is here to cut them for me or I get a wet saw.

I can't wait to get this done and finally be able to take a bath again!

Bathroom Project

2009-08-16T15:36:00.000-07:00

Call it nesting, call it crazy...but I decided that we needed to re-do the hallway bathroom.

It started out simply enough. The control for the tub faucet wasn't working anymore and needed to be replaced. We bought a new fixture, only to discover that we'd have to get back behind the tile and drywall in order to replace it. I HATE the tile that was in there. I've hated it for 8 years now. It's peach colored, and it doesn't get clean.

So...this seemed like a good opportunity to pull that tile out and re-tile the tub area. And if you're going to pull out the ugly tile on the wall, you may as well pull out the ugly tile on the floor, too.

Here's the ugly little bathroom before...

The not-so-cute peach wall tiles were the first to go.

Ben replaced the fixture, perfecting his soldering skills. Of course, the drywall behind all of the olf tile was rotted away and needed to be pulled out and replaced, too. And so did some of the studs probably, but we skipped it. They'll hold for a while...

New drywall installed. New tile backerboard in place. Now to pick some tile. I'm having some trouble deciding what to do here. I'm sure something will come to me...

After all of the floor tile was removed.

All of the new slate tile cut and set. I will grout tomorrow. And wet saws are my new most favorite power tool.

That's about it for now since we're leaving for a vacation on Tuesday. At least the floor will be done.

Still do to:

move the hallway closet opening into the bathroom space
select and install tile for tub surround
install bead board on bottom of walls
replace toilet
replace vanity with pedestal sink
paint upper half of walls
hang cabinet over toilet

Day 9 Video

2009-07-13T20:14:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Ali, we are now minus one patio and plus one video. Have a look to see how it all went down:

Holko House, Day 9

2009-07-13T10:08:00.001-07:00

Saturday was quite a day over here. I am so impressed by the work that was accomplished (no thanks to me).

We already had the jackhammer. The goal was to bust up and remove the concrete slab that used to be out patio. Not a fun job on one of the hottest days so far this summer, but we assembled a fantastic team.

Ken, Ali, Brett and Sarah all showed up to help. Susan helped out by taking Jacob for the day. I participated by bringing food and drinks to the crew. I feel bad that I couldn't do more to help.

Everyone took a turn with the jackhammer. And not to diminish the jackhammering that anyone else did, I think we could all agree that Ali is a MACHINE. He ran that thing for what seemed like 8 hours straight. Awesome.

We are SO lucky to have such great family and friends here. I can't imagine if Ben and I had tried to do this ourselves. No way would it look like this after just ONE day!

So, this week we work on drawings to re-submit at some point. We still have a lot of digging/grading to do, and then that's about all we really can do before we get a permit for this project (yes, of course you should have a permit to even sneeze loudly in your yard, but whatever).

Holko House, Day 8

2009-07-13T09:56:00.000-07:00

Friday, July 10th was the 8th day of this project. It was also the crappiest day thus far. We had an appointment to go to the permit office and start the review of our plans. Ben took the afternoon off and he, Ken, and I went down together.

I had followed the city's guidelines in preparing the drawings and the two engineers on the project (Ben and Ken) had reviewed them and we thought we were pretty well prepared. Sadly,t he horrible woman who we were assigned to did not feel the same way. Without getting into too much detail and getting angry again, she basically saw that we were homeowners rather than professional architects. This meant there was likely to be more work involved for her, and she flat out told us that she wasn't going to even begin a review because there was too much to write down and it would be too much work. Nice. The information we left with was, "You're missing too much information," and "You should just hire someone to do this." Despite my best attempts to figure out WHERE exactly we could find this "missing information" we left very discouraged.

Since we basically had the majority of the information that she said was missing (and she just simply didn't feel like looking at what we'd presented), we figure it was a formatting and presentation issue more than anything else. Luckily Ben does technical drawings all day at work anyhow, so he can take all of the already prepared info, slap it onto a few big sheets of paper with a border around them and we'll take it from there. We've also got Ken's plans from their most recent remodel, so we can just pull a lot of the basic, non-specific information from there.

So as discouraged as I felt that afternoon, we still went to the rental shop and picked up a jackhammer.

Holko House, Day 2

2009-07-06T12:48:00.000-07:00

What a way to spend the Fourth of July...smashing concrete blocks. Thanks to Darren for his help with this project.

The concrete block wall around the patio has been demolished. We're waiting on a concrete dumpster to clean up the rubble, which should arrive tomorrow.

The boys even moved most of my veggie plants to the corner of the yard so we can hopefully save some of them. Herbs have moved into planters, and the chickens are in the process of being moved to the other side of the yard.

The next step will be to remove the concrete pad that remains. We need to remove this in order to pour the footings and foundation for the new room. Should be quite a noisy weekend coming up!

Holko House, Day 1

2009-07-04T09:54:00.000-07:00

Actually, Day 1 was Thursday, when Ken and I went down to the City of San Diego offices and got permit information and building records. All in all, a successful day.

Here's the idea:

Here's the before:

The start of the workday...

Almost done...

Woo hoo!

Aaaand...no more crappy patio cover!

Ben gets 95% of the credit for this project. I did little but bring cold drinks and help load up the debris. Yay Ben!

Who Knew?

2009-06-23T11:32:00.000-07:00

Sunday was June 21st.

Yes, it was Fathers' Day this year, but it also marks a significant day in my life.

June 21, 2001, was the day I arrived here in San Diego. It's been 8 years since I packed some things up in my little car and headed to the west coast.

I still clearly remember standing on the front lawn of mom and dad's house, feeling excited and sad at the same time. I knew I was doing the right thing...there was never really any doubt about that, but I also knew how much I would miss my family. At least I thought I knew how much I would miss my family. You can't quite prepare yourself for all of the little things you'll miss when you are so far away from the people you love so much.

As I sit here right now, I look back at the 22 year old version of myself that didn't think twice about packing up and moving across the country. Did I seem crazy? What was I thinking? San Diego is really far away from Buffalo, and I knew just one person there. And that one person was Ben Holko.

People ask me all the time, "So, what brought you out to San Diego?" My answer is, "A boy." It sounds silly, but it's true. Kind of. It wasn't just a boy. It was the boy. How in the world did I know this? We never dated, exactly. We never discussed plans for the future (which, to my frequent irritation, I now know to be the just the way it goes with Ben). I just knew, somehow, that it was the right thing to do.

And that's the crazy part. People have asked me, "How do you know? How do you know it's the right person?" Well, sadly, I don't have an answer for that. I suppose no one does, really. At least not in a way you can explain to anyone else. That's one of the big questions in life, I think. For me, it was just right. Anyone who has known me for a long time knows the relationship history that directly preceded my moving to California. Before I made the deciding trip to visit Ben, I had made peace with the fact that this previous relationship was just about as good as it was going to get. Perfect, no. Comfortably and reasonably happy, sure. I could live with it and move forward in life. And then I spent a Spring break here with Ben and knew immediately that comfortable and reasonably happy was not good enough. For either of us.

So Benjamin, this is about you. I'm here because of you, and I'll always be here because of you. The good things I have in my life are because of you. Eight years ago, I never imagined what life would be like right now. It's not that I pictured something different, it's just that I guess I never pictured it at all. I was so happy in the moment that right now was really all that mattered. And truly, that's all that matters today. Right now, I'm married to the nicest, most generous person in the world. I have a husband who has never once made me feel bad about myself, never once questioned my wants and desires, never made me feel like I was not important to him. We live in a comfortable house, with walls and a roof and nice things inside. I'm able to stay home with the most wonderful, beautiful child ever, because of you. I know I don't say it enough, but I am so thankful for all you've provided for our little family. And mostly, I'm thankful that because of you, there is Jacob. He has been such a bright, shiny part of my life since the day he was born. What a wonderful gift you've given me in him...and to think that there will be another piece of you running around this house soon! I'm lucky. I'm truly, truly lucky. And I'm so glad that I packed up my little car and followed my heart so many years ago.